This is for anyone who never believes me how FREAKING HUGE the spiders are at my place. I think I have arachnaphobia...really. There I was minding my own business, cleaning actually (guess I won't do that again) when out scurries the hairy beast from under the shoe basket we keep by the door. After shouting every curse word imaginable even a few I made up...and peeing my pants (literally, to both) it ran under the piano. I kinda felt bad because I screamed at Kennedy to run away and hide and stay away for a very long time. But I was merely saving her life. I some how mustered enough guts to move the piano, but not before I was ready with the vacuum and a sticky spider trap. So, I moved the piano. What an idiot spider, he just sat there. So, I put the trap on him sticky side down. Now who's the idiot? Those traps are oober sticky, and now it was stuck to my carpet. But at least the spider was under it. What else could I do but unstick the trap. So I ripped it off the carpet, with wooden tongs of course, (cause I wasn't about to use my fingers) I peed my pants again, literally. And it's not because I'm pregnant and have the worlds smallest bladder, this guy was HUGE! I then sprayed the evil baby killer with every single melalueca chemical / cleaning product I own (none of them claiming to kill bugs,) mind you, this is at least 12 bottles, but if that stuff won't kill you, I don't know what will. I'm going to be in trouble when Tyler gets home because there's a large, smelly, discolored spot on the carpet now. Then I smashed maybe 10 or 11 paper towels on him and took the now huge wad of crap and put it in a walmart bag. I threw it out the door screaming, (and yes, I did drop the bag once and jumped around like a lunatic all the while screaming.) My poor unsuspecting neighbors, (hopefully the losers upstairs) are going to think they've found a treasure, but open it to find the grand daddy of all spiders. So, to anyone who has ever thought of me as a whanny, now you know I am 100 no 1,000,000,000 % justified. That's right my friends, I conquered the beast. **applause**
2 comments:
Sorry, I'm not down with the spiders. I can't handle them either. YOu go girl. I have to wait until tim gets home to kill the beasts!
Um, I can't look at your blog anymore until you've written enough posts to not have that stinkin' spider on the page- we have sooooo many here in VA and I scream every single time I see one. I have bad dreams about spiders. I'm not kidding. Bytheway, how are you feeling??
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